Check the screen shot below of the piratebay website (Click for enlarged image). Yes, yes guilty as charged! I download torrents all the time! But, for the first time, I noticed the young ladies on the left column. See for yourselves. I’ve lived all my life in
Friday, November 21, 2008
Bangalore - hot and happenin!
Sunday, November 9, 2008
MTR for the uninitiated
Tell me about one travel article to
Everyone tells you to go there but no one tells you what to do once you reach. Therefore, in this post, I help by letting you know how to have a satisfactory breakfast experience at MTR. Here follows some tips from me. If you continue to the end of the post, there’s also a surprise waiting!
1) If you’re not a morning person like me, the best time to visit MTR is around 10.15 am – Breakfast closes at 11 am and the doors shut after around 10.45 am. No one’s allowed in after that. Why 10.15 then you ask? Well, many people just like you wanted to have breakfast at MTR and many people just like you, are not morning people.
2) Put your name down with the chap who calls out for tables as they become free. Well, this part is not difficult. But be sure to hang around him. I suggest a you maintain not more than 2 feet distance between the chap and you at any moment. Why? Sometimes the guy’s prone to calling out names in such a soft voice that you may not hear. He does not believe in second chances and right in front of your eyes, you may see the family with the kid carrying balloons bought from Lalbagh trooping in instead of you.
Now we come to the most delicate part of the operation:
3) When your names are called out, spring up from your seat and follow instructions to you table but AT THE SAME TIME, make a sweep of the entire room and check what’s on everyone’s table. If you’re Sherlock Holmes that no problem. Else, like me, you’ll need to practice about 2-3 times. Why you ask? Well, there are no menu’s in MTR. When the waiter blesses you with his presence, don’t annoy him by asking what’s there. Else, he’ll annoy you back by giving rattling out the entire menu in 5 seconds flat. Ever seen someone do speed reading aloud? That’s a necessary qualification to be an MTR waiter
4) So now that you’ve observed what’s on everyone’s tables, you can get ordering. But wait! There’s still the dosa aspect to mention. Of course you’ve gone all the way to MTR and the reward is perhaps a nice Ghee Masala Dosa. The waiter will tell you there’s no dosa, ALWAYS. Then, he’ll let tell you “maybe I can manage the last few dosas for you”. Then he’ll scold you and let you know these are the last possible dosas and he’ll send you to eternal hell if you ask for one more later on. You’ll meekly agree. Here in MTR, he tell YOU what to do. Its his way or the highway. Oh yes, you can note this charade going on in the tables round you as well. Once the artificial scarcity is created, I see that everyone orders dosas.
5) Refer to point four. The dosas have been ordered. Now, look desperately around for the waiter again to place the rest of your order. Or yes, if you are less than 4 people, expect to share your table with the boy carrying balloons from Lalbagh.
6) Once the food arrives, save for some minor irritants (you have to BEG for a second serving of chutney etc) the experience is excellent. I refer here only to the food.
All right so here’s the bonus I promised for reading the entire post. Below is MTR’s breakfast menu from my Sherlock Holmes’ing’.
Masala Dosa – Order first. It comes from the black market.
Rava Idly
Khara Bath – Not always available
Bisi Bele Bath – Yummy
Badam Halwa
Gulab Jamoon – so so
Badam milk
And the piece de resistance:
The Fruit Custard – From the second you put your eyes to it, you WANT it.
All breakfast items come with a generous helping of ghee.
You’re welcome!
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Mid Day - Mid week crisis?
I also know that mid-day is filled with tripe and no one ought to take it seriously.
BUT STILL
Today’s cover story talks about the the Jet Airways sacking of 800 employees (and more to come). Here are some gems from the report:
Monica Gawande (28), one of the 800 odd crewmembers laid off by Jet Airways is distraught. “I underwent eye surgery, since the airlines wouldn’t allow me to fly with my spectacles on.
Yeah right. Ever heard of contact lenses?
Also mentioned in the story, “As mid day found out, 90% of the 800 odd crewmembers being laid off have huge educational loans and home loans to repay, families to support and dreams to fulfill”
What? 90% have dreams to fulfill? That’s some survey!
Mid day to crew member (22 years): So, do you have any unfulfilled dreams?
22 year old: Nope. I just want to wander about with this vacant look in my eyes. Its quite fun actually!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Essence of India
http://india.gov.in/
Turns out, this site serves a dual purpose. It’ll help you learn the art of writing in flowery language, one tests the limits of artistic expression. If you don’t believe me, outlined are some phrases. Decide for yourselves…. on you own. Get the redundancies?
This section introduces you to the National Identity Elements of India. These symbols are intrinsic to the Indian identity and heritage. Indians of all demographics backgrounds across the world are proud of these National Symbols as they instill a sense of pride and patriotism in every Indian's heart.
The Indian peacock, Pavo cristatus, the national bird of India, is a colourful, swan-sized bird, with a fan-shaped crest of feathers, a white patch under the eye and a long, slender neck. The male of the species is more colourful than the female, with a glistening blue breast and neck and a spectacular bronze-green train of around 200 elongated feathers. The female is brownish, slightly smaller than the male and lacks the train. The elaborate courtship dance of the male, fanning out the tail and preening its feathers is a gorgeous sight.
The long span of Indian history covering more than 3000 years and enumerating several civilizations has been a constant reminder of the country's rich multicultural extravaganza and world-renowned heritage. The people and their lifestyles, their dance forms and musical styles, art & handicrafts, and such other elements go on to reflect the varied hues of Indian culture and heritage, which truly epitomises the nationality of the country. This section attempts at showcasing all those elements, which act as a window to the culture and heritage of India.
The beauty of the Indian people lies in their spirit of tolerance, give-and-take and a composition of cultures that can be compared to a garden of flowers of various colours and shades of which, while maintaining their own entity, lend harmony and beauty to the garden - India!
I don’t know about you, but I find this stuff funny (ok also deeply educative. I did not know our national tree was the Banyan Tree.)
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Crisis!
I think it’ll take years to properly attribute reasons to all that we’ve seen take place in the financial world in the past year. Yes, although grabbing the headlines now, the financial crisis has been making news since April last year believe it or not!. That was pretty much when I joined my current job (July 07). So its been very interesting for me.
In this post I will not do anything other than present a time line of the crisis that I have nicked from Bloomberg as well a graph where you can see at what pace things have been moving of late. Its rather long. I’ve warned you that the crisis has been going on for ages now!
So without further ado, here goes:
2-Apr-07 New Century Financial Corp., which specialized in loans to people with poor credit defaults, files for bankruptcy protection after being overwhelmed by customer defaults.
17-Jul-07 Investors in two Bear Stearns Cos. hedge funds that invested in collateralized debt obligations backed by subprime mortgage loans are told there is no value left in the funds, wiping out $1.6 billion originally invested.
19-Jul-07 Federal Reserve Chairman Ben S. Bernanke tells the U.S. Senate's Banking Committee that there may be as much as $100 billion in losses associated with subprime mortgage products.
22-Aug-07 Countrywide Financial Corp., the biggest U.S.mortgage lender, sells $2 billion of preferred stock to Bank of America Corp., the biggest U.S. bank by market value, to bolster its finances.
14-Sep-07 Northern Rock Plc says the Bank of England agreed to provide emergency funds to ease a ``severe liquidity squeeze'' sparked by U.S. subprime mortgage defaults following the first run on a British bank in more than a century.
11-Jan-08 Bank of America, the biggest U.S. bank by market value, agrees to buy Countrywide for about $4 billion.
14-Mar-08 Bear Stearns Cos. gets emergency funding from the U.S. Federal Reserve and JPMorgan Chase & Co. as a run on the bank depletes its cash reserves in three days.
16-Mar-08 JPMorgan Chase agrees to buy Bear Stearns for 7 percent of its market value in a sale brokered by the Fed and the U.S. Treasury.
1-Apr-08 Lehman Brothers Holdings Inc., the fourth- largest U.S. securities firm, raises $4 billion from a stock sale to quell speculation it's short of capital.
9-Apr-08 Washington Mutual Inc. rejected an offer from JPMorgan Chase to buy it for as much as $8 a share, or $7 billion, before announcing it received a $7 billion capital infusion from a group led by TPG Inc., the Wall Street Journal reports, citing people familiar with the situation.
28-Apr-08 The U.S. Internal Revenue Service starts distributing tax rebates electronically as part of a $168 billion economic stimulus plan.
31-May-08 Bear Stearns ceases to exist as the acquisition by JPMorgan is completed.
11-Jul-07 IndyMac Bancorp Inc., the second-biggest independent U.S. mortgage lender, is seized by federal regulators after a run by depositors depleted its cash.
31-Jul-08 Nationwide Building Society, Britain's fourth-biggest mortgage lender, says U.K. house prices declined the most in almost two decades in July and consumer confidence fell to a record low as the economy edged closer to a recession.
31-Aug-08 Commerzbank AG agrees to buy Allianz SE's Dresdner Bank for 9.8 billion euros in Germany's biggest banking takeover in three years.
7-Sep-08 The U.S. government seizes control of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, the largest U.S. mortgage-finance companies.
15-Sep-08 Lehman Brothers files the largest bankruptcy in history, and Bank of America agrees to acquire Merrill Lynch & Co. for about $50 billion.
16-Sep-08 American International Group Inc. accepts an $85 billion loan from the Fed to avert the worst financial collapse in history, and the government takes over the company.
18-Sep-08 Lloyds TSB Group Plc, the U.K.'s biggest provider of checking accounts, agrees to buy HBOS Plc, Britain's largest mortgage lender, for 10.4 billion pounds.
21-Sep-08 Goldman Sachs Group Inc. and Morgan Stanley receive approval to become commercial banks regulated by the Fed as tight credit markets forced Wall Street's two remaining independent investment banks to widen their sources of funding.
23-Sep-08 Goldman Sachs Group Inc. says it will raise at least $7.5 billion from Warren Buffett's Berkshire Hathaway Inc. and public investors in a bid to quell concerns that pushed up the Wall Street firm's borrowing costs and hurt its stock.
26-Sep-08 The U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission ends a program that monitored securities firms' capital after Morgan Stanley and Goldman Sachs, the only companies remaining under its jurisdiction, became banks overseen by the Fed.
26-Sep-08 The SEC's inspector general releases a report asserting that the agency failed in overseeing Bear Stearns because it knew the firm had ``high leverage'' and was too concentrated in mortgage securities before its forced sale to JPMorgan Chase & Co.
26-Sep-08 Washington Mutual Inc. is seized by government regulators and its branches and assets sold to JPMorgan Chase in the biggest U.S. bank failure in history.
27-Sep-08 Washington Mutual files for bankruptcy protection.
28-Sep-08 Fortis, the largest Belgian financial- services firm, receives an 11.2 billion-euro ($16.3 billion) rescue from Belgium, the Netherlands and Luxembourg after investor confidence in the bank evaporates.
29-Sep-08 The House of Representatives rejects a $700 billion plan to rescue the U.S. financial system, sending the Dow Jones Industrial Average down 778 points, its biggest point drop ever. Citigroup Inc., the biggest U.S. bank by assets, agrees to acquire the banking operations of Wachovia Corp. for about $2.16 billion after shares of the North Carolina lender collapsed under the weight of overdue mortgages. Bradford & Bingley Plc, the U.K.'s biggest lender to landlords, is seized by the government.
30-Sep-08 Dexia SA, the world's biggest lender to local governments, gets a 6.4 billion-euro state-backed rescue as a worsening financial crisis forces policy makers across Europe to aid ailing banks. Ireland says it will guarantee its banks' deposits and debts for two years.
1-Oct-08 The U.S. Senate approves a revised version of the rescue plan that was refashioned to entice enough votes for passage.
3-Oct-08 The House passes the revised version of the rescue plan. Wells Fargo & Co., the biggest U.S. bank on the West Coast, agrees to buy all of Wachovia for about $15.1 billion, trumping Citigroup's government-assisted offer.
4-Oct-08 U.S. President George W. Bush signs the rescue plan into law.
5-Oct-08 BNP Paribas SA, France's biggest bank, will take control of Fortis's units in Belgium and Luxembourg after an earlier government rescue failed to ensure the company's stability as the global credit crisis worsened.
6-Oct-08 The Fed says it will double its auctions of cash to banks to as much as $900 billion and is considering further steps to unfreeze short-term lending markets as the credit crunch deepens. The German government and the country's banks and insurers agreed on a 50 billion euro ($68 billion) rescue package for commercial property lender Hypo Real Estate Holding AG after an earlier bailout faltered. The Dow Jones Industrial Average falls below 10,000 for the first time in four years.
9-Oct-08 Citigroup walks away from its attempt to buy Wachovia, handing victory to Wells Fargo. The Dow Jones falls below 9,000 for the first time in five years and briefly dips below 8,000.
13-Oct-08 An EU summit meeting is called and most EU nations agree to implement rescue packages for their country's banking institutions. Agreements were reach with regards to guaranteeing inter bank funding, debt, injecting capital into banks and changes in mark to market accounting rules
Every dot on this graph represents an important event during the ongoing crisis. Notice how its almost a line in the last couple of months (From september 08 onwards). Things are happening at a screaming pace.
Monday, September 22, 2008
Of cheats and generosity.
Last Sunday, I wake up with the usual thought of picking up the Sunday supplement to read with a cup of coffee and there I saw on the newspaper, a sachet of Vivel shampoo – the new range by ITC. Well, that’s a freebee! (I think we threw the paper into our recycle stack though, shampoo et all).
Then, we go over to our friend’s house for lunch and conversation leads to why there’s a white blank rectangle on their Sunday supplements. Turns out the news paper guy has nicked the shampoo sachet before delivering them! Ouch! Now this is approximately a 300 home apartment complex which equals 300 stolen sachets that the newspaper dealer may be selling to the shop around the corner for a profit, unless Rapunzel lives with him.
Turn to Monday morning in our house and guess what? another Sunday supplement is delivered to us! Looks like the dealer had a few extra newspapers and wanted us to have the sachets.
Now that’s generous. All’s well with the world again (for the next 5 mins).
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
End of the world
Anyway, what about my blaze of glory? I want to discuss a movie. A movie called Dark Storm that I watched quite recently on TV (was that a sign from up above?). This obscure movie (took me tons of googling to get to its name - had forgotten it) talks about exactly the world faces today. Scientists in some super secret military lab discover "dark matter" and the mandatory evil and greedy one amongst them wants to un leash that on the planet for his own excitement (or to sell it or whatever). You see, its very hard to understand what the movie tries to convey. But if you ask me, this was the warning god gave to us long back (movie released in 2006). What's the fun if you dont use your grey matter to figure out the deep implications of the movie?? So here we have Mr. Rebonded hair scientist (turns out he has a web site for his "fans" but again I get an error. Is it just me?) who has swallowed dark matter (the evil guy puts it in him in true Guinea pig fashion). He can now control it. He's got this flashy presence on screen (literally) and can throw electricity bolts at people amongst other things. A boring 2 hours and tons of close ups on the hero's hair style later, Mr hero guy goes to this "lab" to stop the dark matter from creating a black hole in order save the planet. I'll leave the ending for you to figure. Come on you've got to use your grey matter too - to figure out how to tackle today.
As for me - I've now told the whole world how to save planet earth. Watch Dark Cloud.
Friday, September 5, 2008
The Indian connection
Booker price? Gotta have an Indian. In fact none of the other nomineess with even get discussed in the Indian media.
Man on the moon/Mars/Uranus? - The little Indian needs to be waving right from up there!
Umpteen other examples. Bah!
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Bus journeys
Cut bank to fall 2006 (Because I’m in the US silly).
I’m in some sleepy village in New Jersey (on work) and I decided to visit my brother in Syracuse – NY over the weekend.
Initial (crazy) thoughts were to drive down – all by my alone. Immediately discarded – miss a freeway exit in the US to know why! Next option was to catch a train to New York city and then take a bus to Syracuse. This was going to need to some expert syncronisation of time using various modes of transport for me to get to Syracuse by Friday night.
I took off early from work, took my bags and drove to the train station. Guess what? Not a single overnight parking slot free! Many people with similar plans to mine. Hmmph already lost time. Had to go back and call a cab who charged me a princely sum ($40) to take me back to the train station (about 6 miles). Its like the train was waiting in the station for me. I picked up my tickets, hopped onto the train and 1 hour hence, was in the Big Apple. Then, in less than 10 mins. I was on the subway to the bus terminus. All in a days work I say! I made it in record time and thought to myself its my lucky day. In a way it was, I now get to tell this story.
At the bus terminal, I bought the Greyhound ticket to Syracuse – made my pockets about a 100 bucks lighter. One way people!. Then, stood in various queues and guess what? the bus left at least half an hour late and many of my co passengers were dodgy to say the least. There was this African American, dreadlocks et. all how spent half the night trying to make up with his rather pissed girlfriend. I’ll spare you the details. So, we’re wizzing by on the roads and I think to myself great, will be in Syracuse by 10 pm! Yay! Then came the stupendous announcement from the bus driver. The mike is switched on and the driver very mater of factly says he’s lost his way! Ever heard of a bus drive how must be plying the high way routes a zillion times lose his way? Also, I have to tell you, the road from NYC to Syracuse is for the most part one road. Keep on it and off you go. The bus driver had no update on when he might reach Syracuse. This was down right annoying. More so because I don’t have a cell phone and have no way of telling my brother who’s coming to pick me up from the bus stand.
At the rest stop, I tried to make a phone call from a public phone. Believe me, it was a spooky experience. I had to go to the truckers lounge where a bunch of beefy rednecks wearing bandanas and long hairr and MASSIVE muscles are well, lounging around. Fearing for my life, I put my quarters in and realized damn! I don’t have my brother’s phone number! I did have my cousin’s no who incidentally was also in Syracuse. Only its about 11 pm and he was asleep as expected – likely a Captain Morgan Run induced happy sleep. No luck. I scooted from the lounge fast as my legs would carry me while looking suitably nonchalant – like it’s the most normal place in the world to make phone calls out of. THIS is exactly when I realised the power of the cell phone. May whoever invented it become immortal.
After all the agony, I finally reached Syracuse at about 3am! My brother was pissed and rightly so. He’s been waiting alone at the bus stand for eons. Anyway, this was the prelude. The rest of my weekend was very nice. Oh! also, on my bus journey back, the driver has to keep stopping every half an hour for at least 10 mins. for the windshield mist to disappear since her defogger was’nt working.
Think about this the next time you board a bus for a Rs 500 journey in India.
Monday, August 11, 2008
India and the wily British Empire
Place: Some remote village in North India. Anyway almost everything was a village in those days.
Location: Fields.
Gangubhai: Where’s Raju kaka? I have’nt seen him all day today?
Munshiram: Must be off in the fields again! That addict!
Gangubhai: You mean addicted to tending to the fields?
Munshiram: If you intend the pun, yes.
Gangubhai: Huh?
Munshiram: That rascal fellow always likes to go sniffing after the poppies. The plants put him to sleep for obvious reasons.
Gangubhai: Really? Lets discuss this over some fine opium.
..and so it went on.
In all those agonizingly long history lessons did any teacher tell us that the British kept India as a large opium production factory?
All this talk of how India’s wealth attracted the British. Her glory blah blah.
Well, the British East India Company wanted to have a monopoly on opium production in India and that's what made the Empire stinking rich.
In fact the opium that was exported surreptiously by the Empire from India to China triggered the Opium Wars.
Time: 1800Ad
Place: England
Location: A fancy manor.
Her ladyship: Martha, where’s that luverly Chinese tea?
Martha: Coming your ladyship.
Her ladyship: Hurry up wont you? I was to look at some fine China after this. The lord has been rather clumsy lately. My fine porcelain collection is now but a few colourful pieces.
Sniffles.
So there you go. The British loved their tea and porcelain from China. The Chinese however were’nt interested in buying anything that the British produced.
There was a growing trade deficit with China that the British had to tackle. Hence the wily idea to export opium to the Chinese. Get them hooked and crying for more. The deficit narrowed and then became a surplus. Very clever!
Will try to get more of these interesting educational stories.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Slew of bad news
Ever taken a look at air fares these days? Yikes. With these fares I could have flown around the world about a year ago. Now, it wont even take me to Chennai.
Inflation expected to be managed down to 10% by next year. Interesting means of population control. By then, half of India would have died of starvation. Actually, this may be quasi good news. The world needs fewer people.
No jobs anywhere. People getting laid off everywhere.
Gloom.
Friday, July 25, 2008
An absolute shame
Perhaps Urmila Matdonkar or the hot lady in the Bikini know what happened?
Monday, July 21, 2008
Himalayan trek. Batal-Chandratal-Baralacha La
http://venkymixedbag.wordpress.com/
Do read and keep the comments coming.
Friday, July 18, 2008
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Your guess is as good as mine!
In a dark dingy move hall somewhere in our vast country, someone goes with a video camera and records a movie. Then, I suppose as a SERVICE gesture, the same chap spends an agonizing few hours conjuring up sub-titles for the movie. Below, I’ve extracted the subtitles for the prelude to the movie - Race – apparently the biggest hit so far in 2008 (Lets not even get into that!). Without further ado..enjoy.
This is a Durben Biggest Race Course.
There is millioners coming on every country.
and some people get dreams for make milliniors.
And human live and dead and lose about this dream.
Today is a seasons biggest race.
World Cup
He is a Rabir Singh There is also Bet on the Ranbir horses.
Race is his bussiness.
His Passion.
His Life.
Stallions.
This Rent house Owner is Ranbir Singh and his Younger Brother Rajive Singh.
There is Trained Every Good Cast Horse.
and doing his Beading.and sale out and running in Race.
Against Race Ranbir passion is outdoor smoke.
He lives life on the age.
Born to kill Ranbir Favourite Jockey.
Ranbir's horse Corte on his hands.
Kabir Ahuja Ranbir's Biggest Rider.
One of the biggest bookie.
ln the race his horses are on the bet.
lf any one is against on the Ranbir then only Kabir.
Horse running alone in Race. But in life race human wants a Friends.
Soniya an upcoming model.
her in his heart.
Sometimes love begins with eyes.
PS: Prices for guessing the real meaning of the sentences/words.
The eternity of a minute.
Ok Gotcha!
I’m just talking about the one minute that feels like forever when spent at home in the morning on a wasted activity when one is already running late for work. Now isn’t that a familiar feeling? You’re just about shooting out of the door, when the phone rings (the landline of course. A marketing call – but of course!). You’re half way through the stairs and you mom/spouse asks you if you can fish out the laundry and give them on your way… and an innumerable other inane situations.
You can’t help but get angry right? There you are and you KNOW that you’d have been on time if not for this annoying last minute distraction.
However, in the darkest corner of you heart, you feel something. Is that a tinge of elation you sense? After all you now have someone to blame!! A tiny voice tells you that you would’ve been late anyway but now you have a legal and valid reason to make a face and tell the person who caused the delay that its all because of them. You can even tell the boss why you were so un-necessarily delayed. It’s the one minute that you NEED to believe lasted till eternity.